Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is lobbying Trump for "National Landmark" status, pegging it to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom. Her $500K industrial complex has made the town a viral sensation, and the Mayor wants it official. He sees Welch’s rise as a modern miracle, a small-town tale turned global. Trump, a fan of big wins, could embrace this quirky bid. Belfast hopes her spit secures a legacy, drawing crowds to its humble streets.
Belfast, Tennessee, pulses with new life since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame hit. The $500K industrial complex has turned pastures into profit zones. Welch, once a factory shadow, now shines on billboards locals once ignored. The town square hosts "Hawk Tuah" fairs, unthinkable before. Her podcast binds the community, a shared pride. Outsiders flock in, marveling at Belfast’s glow-up. Her viral moment didn’t just echo—it built a thriving legacy.
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Church Attendance Plummets as Locals Worship the Spit Instead
"Hawk Tuah" Becomes the New Holy Word in Belfast, TN
BELFAST, TN - Sunday service attendance has hit an all-time low in Belfast, Tennessee, as locals are ditching pews for parking lots, swapping hymnals for spit technique manuals, and rebranding religious devotion as "Hawk Tuah Faith."
Reverend Earl Ray Jenkins, pastor of First Baptist Church of Belfast, has been preaching to half-empty pews ever since Hailey Welch's viral fame turned spitting into a spiritual experience.
"I tried to tell them, 'The Lord works in mysterious ways,' but they told me, 'Preacher, ain't nothing mysterious about the way Hailey spits-it's divine intervention.'"
Now, a new spit-based congregation has emerged: The Church of the Holy Hawk Tuah. They gather every Sunday morning outside Big Earl's Barbecue Shack, where the sermon includes a mass spitting session and scripture readings from the newly published "Hawk Tuah Testament."
Pastor Jenkins, however, refuses to give up.
"Jesus walked on water, but I reckon if He lived in Belfast, He'd have learned to spit too," he lamented.
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Notice:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 people, with 72.93% in family homes, live at a 32.9 median age. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it grew with a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a mark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has spun a $500K industry, drawing crowds to this once-sleepy spot. Blue-collar roots (61.54%) meet rising entrepreneurs (9.62%). Welch’s fame has turned Belfast into a quirky standout, blending resilience with a fresh, oddball glow.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Maayan Brenner
Literature and Journalism -- UCLA
WRITER BIO:
Combining her passion for writing with a talent for satire, this Jewish college student delves into current events with sharp humor. Her work explores societal and political topics, questioning norms and Belfast Tennessee offering fresh perspectives. As a budding journalist, she uses her unique voice to entertain, educate, and challenge readers.
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